What Gardening Has Taught Me

1. Plants cannot water themselves.

After having killed many, many healthy and innocent plants, I have now come to realise that they are not the independent, self-watering things I once thought them to be. So much for survival of the fittest. Hmph. No wonder the nursery sold watering cans.

Most, if not all, of my plants ended up looking like this:

You'll be better off in plant heaven, my friend. Or the compost heap.

You’ll be better off in plant heaven, my friend. Or the compost heap.

Now that Ramadhan is upon us, fasting during long summer days has made me realise just how thirsty my poor plants must have been. I was so cruel to them.

So I promise to mend my ways and be kinder to you lot:

IMG_4179

IMG_4180

Only because I want to tear off your leaves and dump them in my cooking pot. Muahahahahaha.

2. The back of a spade is excellent for killing bugs and insects. 

With a few plants on the balcony, I was hoping to attract pretty butterflies and chirping birds and a little bambi to help me dress up in the morning. Total Disney style.

What I got instead were bugs and insects and spiders.

They scare the wits out of me, and years of driving alone in KL and navigating parking lots armed with pepper spray has taught me one thing: attack before being attacked.

My tool of choice:

The ultimate bug killer.

The ultimate bug killer.

One good whack with the back of the spade, and off to Never-never Land you go, dastardly creepy crawly. I can then repot my plants in peace.

3. Never expect your pet to keep you company while you garden.

Far from helping me hunt and kill creepy crawlies, Muci had his own agenda.

Training to be a circus cat - walking the tightrope.

Training to be a circus cat – walking the tightrope.

Preparing for the jump; surveying the area.

Preparing for the jump; surveying the area.

Target located: chirping bird. Lunch is sorted.

Target located: chirping bird. Lunch is sorted.

Yes, he does jump off the balcony whenever I have my back turned. But before you go and call RSPCA, let me assure you that we’re only a few feet off the ground. So you can rest assured, that no cats were harmed in the writing of this post.

I can’t say the same for the creepy crawlies, though.

8 thoughts

  1. plants need water.. but how much? I killed all my plants… usually by not watering and then later over compensating for the days we didn’t 😀 how lah?

  2. My sister in law can grow anything in a garden. I can kill anything that grows. The best chance it has is for me to leave it alone. 🙂

    Your plants, your forest, and your feline all look healthy.

    • Thanks 🙂

      The forest is communal, so I can’t take any credit for it… my plants are all dried up and dead now that it’s winter, but I did manage to eat the lettuce and herbs before the weather got cold 🙂

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