Conversations With Hatta: Stuck

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real. 


Hatta:   Mummy, the cot shrank.

Me:        Don’t be silly, Hatta. Cots don’t shrink.

Hatta:   Ok. I grew larger, then.

Me:        You’re constantly growing, Hatta.

Hatta:   No, I mean like, really grew. Like that girl Alicia in Fairyland. When she ate that little cake and grew taller and taller. Did you feed me some enchanted cake last night? I swear dinner last night tasted odd.

Me:        You mean Alice In Wonderland, and no, I did not feed you any cake last night. Don’t be ridiculous.

Hatta:   Hmmm. Curiouser and curiouser! So cots don’t shrink, then?

Me:        No, they don’t.

Hatta:   Are you sure?

Me:        Yes, I’m very sure.

Hatta:   Then by process of elimination, I can only conclude that I’ve drastically grown overnight. I’m sorry to break it to you like this, Mummy, but I’m a baby giant.

Me:        Stop telling tall tales, Hatta.

Hatta:   Lame, Mummy. Lame.

Me:        Heh heh sorry… I couldn’t help myself.

Hatta:   I’m serious, Mummy… I’ve gone through some sort of growth spurt… I’m stuck.

Me:        Stuck?

Hatta:   Could you please come over and have a look at what I’m trying to tell you?

Me:        Oh alright… if it’ll make you stop all this baby giant nonsense…

(I walk towards his cot.)

Hatta:   Fee fi fo fum! I smell the blood of an irritated mum…

Me:        Stop it, Hatta.

(I reach his cot.)

Me:        (laughs) Oh dear… what’s happened here?


Hatta:   See? I told you. I grew into a baby giant overnight and now I’m stuck. Do you believe me now?

Me:        You are not a baby giant. You simply rotated and got yourself stuck, that’s all. You have outgrown this cot, though. We need to get the extension pretty soon.

Hatta:   Huh? That’s it? Are you sure I’m not a baby giant, Mummy?

Me:        Very sure.

Hatta:   We don’t live atop a magic beanstalk?

Me:        No, we don’t.

Hatta:   Ugh. How boring.


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