The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real.
Hatta: Mummy, the cot shrank.
Me: Don’t be silly, Hatta. Cots don’t shrink.
Hatta: Ok. I grew larger, then.
Me: You’re constantly growing, Hatta.
Hatta: No, I mean like, really grew. Like that girl Alicia in Fairyland. When she ate that little cake and grew taller and taller. Did you feed me some enchanted cake last night? I swear dinner last night tasted odd.
Me: You mean Alice In Wonderland, and no, I did not feed you any cake last night. Don’t be ridiculous.
Hatta: Hmmm. Curiouser and curiouser! So cots don’t shrink, then?
Me: No, they don’t.
Hatta: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, I’m very sure.
Hatta: Then by process of elimination, I can only conclude that I’ve drastically grown overnight. I’m sorry to break it to you like this, Mummy, but I’m a baby giant.
Me: Stop telling tall tales, Hatta.
Hatta: Lame, Mummy. Lame.
Me: Heh heh sorry… I couldn’t help myself.
Hatta: I’m serious, Mummy… I’ve gone through some sort of growth spurt… I’m stuck.
Hatta: Could you please come over and have a look at what I’m trying to tell you?
Me: Oh alright… if it’ll make you stop all this baby giant nonsense…
(I walk towards his cot.)
Hatta: Fee fi fo fum! I smell the blood of an irritated mum…
Me: Stop it, Hatta.
(I reach his cot.)
Me: (laughs) Oh dear… what’s happened here?
Hatta: See? I told you. I grew into a baby giant overnight and now I’m stuck. Do you believe me now?
Me: You are not a baby giant. You simply rotated and got yourself stuck, that’s all. You have outgrown this cot, though. We need to get the extension pretty soon.
Hatta: Huh? That’s it? Are you sure I’m not a baby giant, Mummy?
Me: Very sure.
Hatta: We don’t live atop a magic beanstalk?
Me: No, we don’t.
Hatta: Ugh. How boring.