Conversations With Hatta: The Haircut

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real.

Earlier that day…

Me:   I’m going to get a haircut later today, so you can spend some quality time with Ayah. Is that ok?

H:      Sure.

Me:   Now it’ll just be a trim, ok? Nothing drastic. I’ll still be the same person, ok?

H:      Whatevs, Mummy. It’s not as if you’re going for plastic surgery or anything. Chill.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

After my hair appointment, I meet The Mister and Hatta for coffee. 

Me:   Hello there! What have you been up to? Did you and Ayah have fun?

H:      WHO ARE YOU WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME GO AWAYYYYYY

Me:   Hush Hatta, it’s only me… it’s Mummy!

H:      Stranger Danger! Stranger DANGER!

Me:   Calm down, Hatta. People are staring at us. Would you like me to hold you? Here, let me carry you.

H:      WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU LIFTING ME UP LEAVE ME ALONE AYAH DO SOMETHING STRANGER DANGERRRRRRRR AYAH HELP SAVE MEEEEEEEE

Me:   Oh good God.

I hand the bawling baby to The Mister. 

Me:   There you go. Take a walk with Ayah and try to calm yourself down.

H:      *sniffle*  Stranger danger.

After he has calmed down, I prepare a bottle of milk.

H:      *eyes widening* Ooooohhhh milk time! Hello Mummy, you look a bit different. I wouldn’t have recognised you if it weren’t for that bottle of milk in your hand. You really should accessorise more.

Me:   With a milk bottle?

H:      It completes your look.

Me:   Honestly Hatta, you’re so dramatic. It was just a haircut. A trim. You needn’t bawl your eyes out.

H:      But you did look different at first.

Me:   Please stop exaggerating.

H:      No but it’s true. You look half decent. Almost presentable, even.

Me:   I beg your pardon? What did I look like before?

H:      Dishevelled and tired.

Me:   One of these days I’ll have to teach you how to tell a white lie.

H:      That’s a slippery slope, Mummy. A slippery slope.

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