Conversations With Hatta: Me Time

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real.

 

 

Me:                  You sure you’ll be okay?

The Mister:   Yeah. Don’t worry.

Me:                  Alright then. I should be gone for a couple of hours. Three hours at the most. If he gets hungry there’s milk in the fridge.

The Mister:   We’ll be fine. Have fun.

Me:                  (skipping and dancing to the car) Woohoo freedommmmmm!

The Mister:   Err… don’t forget to come home!

 


 

Hatta:             Why is Mummy so happy, Ayah? Where is she going? Wait… why isn’t she taking me with her? She forgot me!

The Mister:   No she didn’t. She has an appointment with the hairdresser’s. She’ll be back in a few hours. In the meantime, I’ll take care of you. It’ll just be the two of us.

Hatta:             But you’ve never taken care of me on your own before. Without Mummy around.

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Conversations With Hatta: Stuck

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real. 

 

Hatta:   Mummy, the cot shrank.

Me:        Don’t be silly, Hatta. Cots don’t shrink.

Hatta:   Ok. I grew larger, then.

Me:        You’re constantly growing, Hatta.

Hatta:   No, I mean like, really grew. Like that girl Alicia in Fairyland. When she ate that little cake and grew taller and taller. Did you feed me some enchanted cake last night? I swear dinner last night tasted odd.

Me:        You mean Alice In Wonderland, and no, I did not feed you any cake last night. Don’t be ridiculous.

Hatta:   Hmmm. Curiouser and curiouser! So cots don’t shrink, then?

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Conversations With Hatta: Red Light

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real. 

 

Hatta:   Mummy, there’s something wrong with the car. We’re not moving.

Me:        There’s nothing wrong with the car, Hatta.

Hatta:   I’m telling you, Mummy, there’s something wrong. Wait.. all the other cars are stuck here too… OH MY GOD IT’S THE END OF THE WORLDDDDDD WE’RE ALL DOOOOOOMED HELP HELP HELP

Me:        Hatta, we’re at a red light. We’re supposed to stop. Everyone’s supposed to stop. Calm yourself down.

Hatta:   NOOOO WE’RE ALL DOOOOOMED FOREVERRRR-eh… we’re moving again! Thank heavens. We’ve been saved!

Me:        The traffic light turned green, Hatta. So we can go.

Hatta:   IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AGAIN HELP HELP HELPPPPPPPPPP

Me:        Are you going to do this at every red traffic light?

Hatta:   IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW ITTTTTTTTT

Me:        Oh good grief.

Conversations With Hatta: The Appetiser

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real. 

 

Hatta:   Mummy, what’s this new appetiser on the menu? It’s delicious. I love it.

Me:        That’s your fist, Hatta. Please stop shoving it into your mouth.

Hatta:   (muffled) mmmmmfffhhhhhmmm yum.

Conversations With Hatta: Service Here Is Terrible

The conversations are imaginary, but the situations are real. 

Me:        Gooooood morning Hatta bear!

Hatta:   Good morning Mummy. I’m hungry.

Me:        Did you have a good night’s sleep?

Hatta:   Yes I did, Mummy, thank you. I’m hungry. Feed me, please.

Me:        Did you have sweet dreams?

Hatta:   Not really, Mummy. Even if I did, I don’t remember them. Are you going to pick me up any time soon? My stomach’s growling.

Me:        Did you dream of unicorns and rainbows? Or of tractors and dinosaurs?

Hatta:   Neither. Mummy I’M FAMISHED PICK ME UP PLEASE AND FEED ME.

Me:        Did you dream of dinosaurs sliding down rainbows? Or of unicorns driving tractors through meadows? Leprechauns and pots of gold?

Hatta:   MUMMY STOP TALKING AND PICK ME UP NOW NOW NOW FEED ME NOW I’M HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYY

Me:        (Picking Hatta up) Oooooh aren’t we a cranky Hatta bear this morning? Not much of a conversationalist are you, Hatta?

Hatta:   The service here is terrible. I wish I could eat elsewhere.

Me:        Too bad, Hatta bear. You have a six-month exclusive contract with me, with an option to extend to two years. You’ll just have to learn to be a bit patient sometimes.

Hatta:   Sigh. The future looks bleak.